rules:pyaar ke superhit formulae(only for girls)

hi guys

today is the day i celebrate. we dont have scary setia’s afternoon class tomorrow which is a blessing for me as i havent made my project one little bit. although i did try to study a little in the class today in the break but later gave that up and had a samosa in the cafe. these days ive given up trying to calculate how much calories i eat throughout the day as i really cant diet and excercise! i had been trying to do that lately, going to the gym and all…but when i go there i always end up playing with the excercise ball or seeing other people huffing and puffing and dont do much about myself. and eating part, yes i was trying to watch what i eat but then i just gave that up as i like eating uncle chips and momos and spring rolls much more than i enjoy eating an apple or nothing. just emptyness in my stomach. i hate that feeling.

i mean whats the point of doing all this when you can have lipo done? oh btw…i once saw a video of fat being sucked out of a womens leg …it was really disgusting..and one of my friends uncle died of liposuction (he got an infection) but im still wiling to risk it.

plus, i already have a boyfriend who is too scared of me to even suggest that i should loose weight.  so my plan is to just keep eating till my heart content till i save up enough money for getting lipo or gastric bypass surgery done.

basically i want to loose weight because:

1. i dont want to big belly hanging out of my dress when i get married in paris. and return to india to have my hindu marriage done at the kings palace in jodhpur..near suzies house where apparently a cup of tea with the king costs you 50 thousand rupees.

2. i want to do para gliding and bunjee jumping. i cant possibly do that in a suit. il look pretty stupid.

3. i want to relax and soak up the sun in hawaii or goa for that matter and i dont want to be the only one there whos lying down on the beach wearing a salwaar kameez while the rest of the girls brigade frolic around in bikinis. oh my god yes…i once saw mahi way on tv wearing a swimming suit…it was a scary site.    very fat people should just NOT wear skimpy clothes.

4. so that i can eat more ; all the things i want without thinking about weather its gonna go to my face or butt or arms or stomach. sometimes when im eating uncle chips chacha ka chinese flavour (20 rupees wala from our cafe, that ullu doesnt keep 10 rupees wala packet so i have to suffer and have that huge packet) i can just feel the fat going straight to my butt and when i get up to check it out in the mirror , my butt does seem bigger so then i promise myself that i wont eat dinner and then i dont but the moment the clock strikes 12, i start feeling hungry, think of eating an apple, eat an apple, continue feeling hungry and then just make a packet of top ramons or maggie, eat that and feel that going to my arms, but eat it anyway. i  just want to enjoy the food without feeling guitly. like chocolate pastries, hot chocolate fudge, pakoras and sweet sweet tea, chips anytime anywhere although i must add here, i prefer kurkure to chips.

5. ok i just read what id written till now, and i really think i have a problem! my god!! i have rambled on and on about food!! well whatever.

6.so that i can stand next to suzie without feeling like an elephant.hehe.

but anyway…im not THAT fat so i think il live till i get enough money for the surgery and then become all hawt hawt hawt for my wedding. cuz a girl just CANNOT look fat in her wedding fotos. its a big no no.

ok..till now…whatever i have written does not concern what the title suggests…so ill expound on that a little bit..

has anyone seen rules:pyaar ke superhit formulae? doesnt milind soman look hot in that!!

right now my top hot actors are:

2.salman khan    1. arjun rampal(hes half dutch and sooooo hot)

so anyway, the thing is wen u want to patao a guy..its pretty simple…you just follow these simple rules.

suppose you like a guy who everyone likes..like all the girls are after him..so then what do you do? well..frankly i dont know either…but here are some things I THINK (probability are) that might work.

from personal experience, i had a major crush on this one really loser guy in my school bus, and although i liked him a lot, i always pretended to hate him,…giving him ghastly looks when he rapped along with eminem or jumped around the bus like a monkey or said “coolness” to every other second thing said to him. but all i wanted him to do was to notice me frowning at him and muttering under my breadth. but there was this other girl in my bus who liked him, tanya, and she sat with him at the back seat and laughed as he jumped from one seat to another. it was pretty stupid though. so i dint have any other choice but to keep making faces at him.

but one day, he poked me accidentally in my eye and i took out my frustration on him and called him an ‘asshole’ and screamed that i hated him but in reality i was feeling pretty happy about being poked in the eye by him as i got to talk to him.  i know.pretty sad.

but then from that day onwards he started taking notice of me and apologized to me every day and in school stopped singing ‘bhoot hoon mein’ whenever he saw me and i got to hear from one of his friends that he thinks that im pretty.

but then one day  he farted in the bus, thinking that it was funny…and i got over him. yuck.

so here is the first rule:

1. do NOT fart in front of the person you like.

for the rest of the rules..you will have to wait another day girls.

this post and the subsequent one relates to

‘how to get your man.’

if you want i can also expound upon ‘how to keep your man from going astray’

lemme know ladies.

till then..

cheers.

k.