WHY WOMEN ARE THE LUCKIER SEX
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynaecological disorder excuses.
3. We never ejaculate prematurely.
4. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
5. When we buy a vibrator it’s glamorous. When men buy a blow-up doll, it’s pathetic.
6. Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
7. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
8. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
9. We’ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
10. Taxis stop for us.
11. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
12. We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
13. Free drinks, free dinners, free moving (you get the point?).
14. We can hug our friend without wondering if she thinks we’re gay.
15. We know the truth about whether size matters.
16. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
17. If we have sex with someone and don’t call the next day, we’re not the devil.
18. Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.
19. We can sleep our way to the top.
20. Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.
21. It is possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
22. No fashion faux pas we make could rival Speedos.
23.
24. If we cheat on our spouse, people assume it’s because we’re being emotionally neglected.
25. We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.
26. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
27. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her arse.
28. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
29. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
30. If we’re dumb, some people will find it cute.
31. We have an excuse to be a total bitch at least once a month.
32. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
33. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we’re aware that we look like an idiot.
34. Our friends won’t think we’re weird if we ask whether there’s spinach in our teeth.
35. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
36. Gay waiters don’t make us uncomfortable.
37. We’ll never regret piercing our ears.
38. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
NOW…..
WHY MEN ARE THE LUCKIER SEX
1. We got to throw you off the titanic first in the name of chivalry.
2. We can scare female bosses with emotional disorder excuses.
3. We orgasm EVERY TIME whether you do or not.
4. We get to flirt with you when you blow up our computers.
5. When we drive a car fast it’s considered cool. When women drive a car fast it’s considered crazy.
6. Our girlfriend’s cook for us while we get to watch TV
7. When we sleep with many girls, we’re studs. When women sleep with many guys, they’re sluts.
8. We can fix our own cars.
9. We’ve never lusted after a pair of shoes or a handbag.
10. Taxis never overcharge us (we know the way).
11. Men die earlier, so we leave you to clean up the mess.
12. We don’t look like a clown on a trampoline when we’re on top.
13. Meals made for us, clothes ironed for us, rooms cleaned for us (you get the point?).
14. We can hug your friends and compare their breasts to yours.
15. We know the truth about whether tightness matters.
16. New gadgets give us a whole new lease on life.
17. If we have sex with someone and don’t call the next day, er…who cares, we got laid.
18. Foreplay makes no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.
19. We make you sleep your way to the top.
20. We can urinate standing up.
21. It is possible to live our whole lives without ever going to the toilet in groups.
22. We don’t need to kill our feet with high heels.
23. If we have an emotional outburst, we are considered passionate – if women have one, they are considered mentally unstable.
24. If we cheat on our spouse, people assume it’s because our spouse is crap in bed.
25. We never care if her orgasm was real.
26. If we use your lady shavers, no one has to know.
27. We can congratulate our teammate without high pitched squeals only dogs can comprehend.
28. If we have an emotional problem, we know how to conceal it.
29. We never have to reach into our purse for a mirror every ten minutes.
30. If we’re dumb, some people will find it cute.
31. We have an excuse to be a total bastard every day.
32. We can talk to people of the opposite sex and picture them naked at the same time.
33. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we’re the envy of our friends.
34. Our friends won’t think we’re weird if we ask whether there’s nudity in a particular movie.
35. There are times when beer really can solve all your problems.
36. Complex remote controls don’t make us uncomfortable.
37. We’ll never regret sleeping with your sister.
38. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their car.1. We got to throw you off the titanic first in the name of chivalry.
SO??? WAT DO u THNK???
K.
Recent Comments