why cant i be different?

there is one thing which i dont like among other ofcourse like

pineapple ice creame

mithun chakroborty and his son mimo.

sonu nigam’s acting

aishwariya’s new lux add. lux is the worst soap ever. and it makes ur skin dry.

hrithik’s over acting

summers.

………..and the list goes on……

but the thing which really irritates me the most is….why cant people accept a little change around them?

like take me for example…

if i want to watch alladin instead of ajab prem ki gazab kahani…people think im crazy….why because i have a different opinion from them regarding which movie would be best? but if i wanted to watch ranbir and katrina dancing around trees they would think im normal.

or when i wear a t shirt over my kurta….why is tht weird? i mean its just a jacket minus a zip..isnt it? so whats the big deal….why do people come up to me and say “do u want to be the laughing stock of the college?”

i mean…hello!! just because i dont have a zip…people think its weird to wear it.

right……..

or because i wear chaand tare wale earrings and a colourful bag….i mean carry it…im supposed to be some kind of a joker?

i mean who frames our opinions?

some loser gay fashion designers who cudnt pass class 2 ? do they tell us what should we be wearing?

change…change…change….people dont like it….but they dont realize that we are going through zillions of changes every second of the hour….and we dont realize it….like for example changes in our thoughts…changes in our body…changes in lives of other people around us….no day is the same….

people spend so much time in being like others….trying to blend in…with others….so that they dont get to know about their flaws….or their reality…they hide from themselves…even though they desperately want to be themselves…but the fear of being different…i suppose scares them…like a chameleon…

like in class 9th…i was at the peak of my rebellion…

i colored my hair red…dyed my clothes black….got a nose ring….used to put loads of kajal because i was mourning for my generation…

everyone thought i just wanted attention…and called me bhoot….all the boys in school specially….they used to sing that song….bhoot hoon mein…whenever i passed their way…

then the time i cut my hair….people couldnt digest it…arrey bhai WHY? its just hair…it grows back. i was laughed at for weeks…months rather

or take for example…my pink crocks…why are they ridiculous? because they are not the convers shoes every almost person wears? or those bata wale flats whch everyone has? if i had been wearing those…im sure i wud have been considered normal.

or the fact that i sleep with the lights on…whats wrong with that?

the moment we find tht someone is slightly different from us….we shun them….we laugh at them……why cant we let people be themselves? because we dont have the guts to be our true selves or we think that we are too perfect that if any one is not like us…he or she should change his/her ways…what is the reason?

please let individuals blossom……let them live….

appreciate change..

k.

 

 

 

 

Essence of AILianism(only for people from doomed lost land of AIL)

when i first entered the gates of AIL…i was like “woooow …this is”-  but as soon as i went a little further and could distinctly make out the boundry wall…it hit me…AIL was….perhpas not the vast green grass covered decorated with fountains and flowers just waiting to be smelled kind of a college with …er..any space as such as i had imagined it to be because they only show you the main gates and the building(on the prospectus) misleading your imagination to make a hill out of a molehill. so….AIL was in short pretty damn SMALL.

and of course …the lift dint work….
but still….i held on to some hope….maybe…the geysers might just work this time….

the thing about being an AILian is…..it makes you unique..different from any other. now let us examine the facts which make us an AILian in the true sense of its meaning.

1. we are time efficient. because our classes are just 50 steps away from our rooms, we manage to get up at 9:25 in the morning and still be able to make it in class. but ofcourse we dont open our mouths lest bad breadth gets its evil way. so no questions are asked int he first two periods.

2. we watch ALL possible programs. since there is just one TV we are now accustomed to the saas bahu serials as well as other useless progrmas which we never dared to admit in school even if we secretly saw them with our mothers or grandmothers. now we know what is happening in ‘Bairi Piya’ and are now able to discuss it  over the phone with our nanis and dadis and keep them updated.

3. we now have very little shyness in terms of walking around in the minimalest of clothes  in front of strangers, and to think we never even showed our armpits to our mothers or changed clothes in front of our dog.

4.the BBC was never such an integral part of our lives before this. even if we have fever, or have broken our leg/arm/head…we make it a point to walk the BBC atleast once in a day and check out the new couples. and the freezing winter or the extreme heat or rain doesnt at all hamper our wish to see the BBC ever.

5. we eat a whole dollup of butter every day and discussing the menu is very vital to us and now….we even eat ’shimla mirch’ and other inthinkable veggies like ‘kerela’.

6. we are much ahead of other kids our age in terms of technology and internet know how. since almost all sites are blocked by Nebero( damn you) we have worked hard to find our way through it by finding out ways to crack it and thereby highly developing our techie side. and now we know more than our brothers about internet hacking.

7. boys are not the alien enemy anymore and we now know what they talk about since we live in VERY close proximity of them…about 69 steps away and so the angle of facination of the opposite sex is gone.

8. we learn money management and specially the value of or hard earned pocket money. we become highly economical.

9.gossip mongers dont frighten us anymore. and also we learn the art of gossipping since we live in such a small community of people out of which we only go out for 2 hours every day.

10. no one knows who we are. since we are on number 25 of the best law colleges in India. and no one looks beyond number 10. so we can pretend to be from AIL, london instead of AIL, khubmra and no one will come to know.

11. we are used to being surrounded by sardars all the time. its ok now. and being not from punjab we now know that sardars are actually pretty smart and santa banta are actually bengalis dressed up as sardars.

12. the word ‘authorities’ over here has a all new different meaning , close to the meaning of pernicious.

13. black pencil heels may be contituted as a part of our uniform and gives us an excuse to buy as many black shoes as we want.

14.coffee and samosa is included in our daily diet.

15. since we cant go out anywhere, cafe is our usual hang out place and we think its cool.

But all in all, being an AILian is pretty cool because it teaches you to be a stronger, better, smarter and wiser person and also we can feel like actual smart lawyers owing to our smart uniforms even though we dont have a clue about any concept of law and have 5 re appears.

AILianism is the in thing. go get it.

k

lets talk about sex shall we(only for eyes above 18)

hey all

so sex huh….its a pretty umm…THAT …topic….hush hush types…like ppl who have been laid a hundred times…go like “oh my god!!! a penis!!” or “so…THATS wat it looks like…” or u know somehthing on those lines to totally make u think that they havent shagged a few….

lets talk about masterbation for a second…what is that phenomena?

is it a disease?

it is a nation?

or is it the art of mastering something?

what is it?

well…lemme enlighten ur minds….it a ……………….VERB.

yes….for more information…..check the dictionary..

here….we are concerned with sex only.

and im no pervert…or i think im not…cuz sometimes….asses of hot men….do make me think about…..well….lets not dwelve into that area…..

so anyways….coming back to sex….it has full meaning

s=super

e=enlightening

x=eXperience

and therefore anytihng ANYTHING can be referred to as sex right….like studying….or gettin high on crack…or reading a good book….but we usually co relate sex with vip….thats …please small children close ur eyes for a second…(v jay jay u know like girl wala hting….in ….pipi…boy wala thing…i cant possibly write the full thing…my brother might read it and blab it to my parents)…yeah…so thats where we go wrong….

sex is not vip…like…wen im coming back from a “pravachan” ..yes i do go to them soemtimes..all those swamis do know a thing or two….i say.”.god…i had the most amazing sex!!”

like in one of them i learn’ t…that there are three things …uncontroleable things…if comes under the hands of any man..can endow him with great shaktis of the universe.

these three things were:

1. our thirts for food…bit uncanny…but i cant call it hunger….cuz that is satiated with anything…im talking about thirst…we dont just want plain food….we want food to please our tongue…to ignite our taste buds….to get high on taste..

2. the second thing was our speech or vani…..can we stop talking? uh huh…no!! lke wen u see a couple making out….or some one falling flat on his/her face…u have to tell someone right? or wen we see a snake? or a baby with two heads…like i called up my mom to tell her…in office….or the fact that ranbir is dating katrina now…and has officially dumped ..that padukone…can we hold our tongues? like i once saw this guy shove a ciggie up his ass…and it was lit…and he dint even wince ONCE….obviously i had to call my sister long dintance in afgjanistan where she had gone to assist some auntie in some noble cause…

3. the third and the most difficult of all is to control our thirst for VIP. no man/woman would refrain from it unless they had aids or dint have a vagina or a penis(i had to say it !! i cant keep on saying v jay jay and pipi man…its stupid)….

so anyways…if u can control…truly control these three things….ull get poweres…cosmic powers….great powers…NO…u cant fly or climb walls like spiderman….but greater things…..which i cannot reveal…

so….coming back to sex….which is actually not vip…..or fine lets talk about vip….

well….lemme just say one thing…

DONT DO IT!!! SPECIALLY IF UR MY SISTER OR BROTHER!!!  or  atleast wait till ur 21. cuz 2+ 1 is 3 which is a safe number to have vip on….

and plz….india is the largets country affected with AIDS today….plz think twice beofre calling “Rita Aunty” to have a “good old time” from that shandy newspaper ads….and even if she does come on over….use a that….C  THING…

take care folks.

thats all for now. and if u really need to talk about u know vip…dont come to me ….talk about it to ur parents and elder sisters and siblings…..trust me ….even though theyll scare u ….there isnt anythng they can do about it…DELETE DELETE DELET…..FORGET THAT…

ummm..

be safe.

k.

who is ACTUALLY the luckier sex? judge for urself….

WHY WOMEN ARE THE LUCKIER SEX

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynaecological disorder excuses.

3. We never ejaculate prematurely.

4. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

5. When we buy a vibrator it’s glamorous. When men buy a blow-up doll, it’s pathetic.

6. Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

7. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

8. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

9. We’ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

10. Taxis stop for us.

11. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

12. We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

13. Free drinks, free dinners, free moving (you get the point?).

14. We can hug our friend without wondering if she thinks we’re gay.

15. We know the truth about whether size matters.

16. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

17. If we have sex with someone and don’t call the next day, we’re not the devil.

18. Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.

19. We can sleep our way to the top.

20. Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.

21. It is possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

22. No fashion faux pas we make could rival Speedos.

23.

24. If we cheat on our spouse, people assume it’s because we’re being emotionally neglected.

25. We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.

26. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

27. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her arse.

28. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

29. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

30. If we’re dumb, some people will find it cute.

31. We have an excuse to be a total bitch at least once a month.

32. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

33. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we’re aware that we look like an idiot.

34. Our friends won’t think we’re weird if we ask whether there’s spinach in our teeth.

35. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

36. Gay waiters don’t make us uncomfortable.

37. We’ll never regret piercing our ears.

38. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

NOW…..

WHY MEN ARE THE LUCKIER SEX

1. We got to throw you off the titanic first in the name of chivalry.

2. We can scare female bosses with emotional disorder excuses.

3. We orgasm EVERY TIME whether you do or not.

4. We get to flirt with you when you blow up our computers.

5. When we drive a car fast it’s considered cool. When women drive a car fast it’s considered crazy.

6. Our girlfriend’s cook for us while we get to watch TV

7. When we sleep with many girls, we’re studs. When women sleep with many guys, they’re sluts.

8. We can fix our own cars.

9. We’ve never lusted after a pair of shoes or a handbag.

10. Taxis never overcharge us (we know the way).

11. Men die earlier, so we leave you to clean up the mess.

12. We don’t look like a clown on a trampoline when we’re on top.

13. Meals made for us, clothes ironed for us, rooms cleaned for us (you get the point?).

14. We can hug your friends and compare their breasts to yours.

15. We know the truth about whether tightness matters.

16. New gadgets give us a whole new lease on life.

17. If we have sex with someone and don’t call the next day, er…who cares, we got laid.

18. Foreplay makes no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.

19. We make you sleep your way to the top.

20. We can urinate standing up.

21. It is possible to live our whole lives without ever going to the toilet in groups.

22. We don’t need to kill our feet with high heels.

23. If we have an emotional outburst, we are considered passionate – if women have one, they are considered mentally unstable.

24. If we cheat on our spouse, people assume it’s because our spouse is crap in bed.

25. We never care if her orgasm was real.

26. If we use your lady shavers, no one has to know.

27. We can congratulate our teammate without high pitched squeals only dogs can comprehend.

28. If we have an emotional problem, we know how to conceal it.

29. We never have to reach into our purse for a mirror every ten minutes.

30. If we’re dumb, some people will find it cute.

31. We have an excuse to be a total bastard every day.

32. We can talk to people of the opposite sex and picture them naked at the same time.

33. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we’re the envy of our friends.

34. Our friends won’t think we’re weird if we ask whether there’s nudity in a particular movie.

35. There are times when beer really can solve all your problems.

36. Complex remote controls don’t make us uncomfortable.

37. We’ll never regret sleeping with your sister.

38. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their car.1. We got to throw you off the titanic first in the name of chivalry.

 

SO??? WAT DO u THNK???

K.

love dont cost a thing:myth uncovered

according to jennifer lopez…love dont cost a thing…but has anyone ever tried to learn the truth behind this over rated statement?

is there any truth in it? what does God have to say about this? has there been any scientific results realted to this theory?

the first question is what is love??

people differ in their opinions and definitions as to what love really is…

according to one woman “love is is to not have any expectations”

but come on…like …for example….ur sick ok…and like u obviously want ur mother/father/friend/gf/bf/other people u may love…to atleast come and check on u right…or ask how u are…and if they dont….DUH….it feels bad and u feel neglected…to I think with love comes great expectations…..

another person might say “love is to be patient”

well…okay…atleast i wont wait for my bf/husband(and here we are talking about romantic love)…to come back from world war 3…or from some office trip…i mean id move on..also id eat my dinner..wthout waiting for him…lke as if il go hungry….

another might add “love is forever”

yaar…if love was forever types…would i have ever broken up with d boy and fell in love with f boy? i dont think so…like i mean…d boy was at that time perfect for me….but now…i cant live without f boy…and d boys love doesnt matter to me…..also jennifer wud not have left brad….

also…i mean …can u ever imagine of farting in front of ur bf/gf? or can u admit …wen he/she calls u….that u were actually in the bathroom taking a potty??? NO!! right?? so ofcourse…but wen the love goes away…like many years into the marriage….the husband will not even think twice before farting in front of the wife…and will not refrain from scratchng his balls in public….so again…

so love is definitely all of those above things….then what is love …u might ask again…and how may we get it for free?

well…SORRY TO TELL U…but love do cost a thing or two!!

firstly….it costs….

1. lots and lots and lots of attention..

2. it costs money…

3. it costs time

4. it costs compromise

5. it costs good looks….so get on that surgery table and get butt and boob pads

6. it costs connections….cuz u definitely dont wanna date THAT one.

so…..well….yeah….im sorry…jenny from the block alias J.lo DID lie to us!!!! how dare she!!!!!!!!

we can all sue her under …section 56 of the crpc(look it up first)..i think so

till then goodluck..shabbakher….shubhratri….aur fofofofofofo

k.

is it love

why is it that wen u know tht ur in love with someone and no one can take it away from u…and tht ul always be in love no matter wat…wen u feel like even a second which is not spent in thinking bout tht person or being with him or her..is wasted..tht at the whole phase of love is like a drug and u just cant do without it…and u cant concentarte on anything..and all u want to do is just lie down and listen to music and imagine his or her face…etc etc..and then suddenly…WHAM

u notice this guy (this is for girls only ok..so im cutting out the (or girl) part)…out of nowhere….i mean like u dint even know he existed..and….just like tht….he starts sneaking into ur heart….and no matter how much u try to deny it….u cant ignore him….u try to go away from tht place in ur mind….but wen u come back…u find tht hes still there..waiting…

wat do u do then…..

i mean what CAN u do…

u cant like them both right?

or can u?

why wont he just leave u alone? why cant u stop urself from liking him? hes just an  ordinary guy….nothing much….and what about ur actual love of the life….what about him…why why why cant life be less complicated….why do these emotions/sentiments make ur life sooooooooooo happy and then at the same time make it soooo hard.

wudnt it be great if u cud just remove ur thyroid gland….i guess thts where ur emotions come from right…i mean all the hormones and stuff which make u feel stuff…no wait…i guess its the pulmonary…or is tht soemthing in the heart? pulmonary vein? well…which ever gland is responsible for all this…im gonna ..well…i cant do anything about it….more realistic wud be …if i cud just erase my memory about tht guy….then i wud forget all about him…and go back to loving my original prince..who i love…or do i?

do i actually love the person i love?

am i infatuated?

please get out of my head…i know i cant have u….i wont even like u wen i finally have u

YEAH!!! that it!!!!!

i like him because i cant have him!!!

great…..

k.

Saleswoman

hello everyone

i know i havent been writing for sometime ….and its because of the following reasons:

1. i was shifting back to the hostel..where id originally come from

2. i dint wanna

3. i got bored of writing

4. and i had better things to do like shopping and eating and watchng TV and reading queen of babble…gets hitched…which is an awesome book…and plz do read it..if u like chick flicks.

5. i was busy and no more vela.

6. and because.

so anyways…while i was out today and we were trying to locate a good gym to burn off all the fat that ive apparently put after all the pigging out that i did back home…and became a fatter yet beautiful verison of myself….i just felt like writing again….

also….STAY AWAY from love aaj kal…it sucks ass…and a bad hairy one….it is so goddam stupid and did i mention that it sucks ass? well..it does..like it sucks big time…deepika padukone…just cant tell her stupid bf that she loves him and wants to marry him…like wat the hell…i WOULD never do that…id just ask the goddam guy to f****** marry me…or else il cut his ba*** off…and then ofcourse he would..because who wants to be impotent?

and i would  never date a jerk like saif ali khan…he looks so constipated and weird..i mean just notice his eyes ok….he has wat i call…CRAZY EYES….and u never know wen he might just flip and go all weird on u..which he did both with amrita old bag and that roza janeman chick…who hahaha…wants to act in movies…like AS IF!

GO HOME ROZA! UVE BEEN D-U-M-P-E-D DUMBASS!!! i would be like totally mortified!! if  my bf ever dumped me!! but i know he wont..becasue he knows that his ba*** are at risk.

like i would totally smash his head and take his eyes out and get him beat up by thugs and shoot his parents and ummm

never mind…..

so….coming back to wat i mean by this posts name….

like some months back…..i wanted to earn money like hell….like sometimes…i get these attacks of eating umm various food articles and i just want to eat them that very moment or i think i might faint or fall sick….but ofcourse eventually i dont…so i wanted to earn money like a lot….and i came up with this idea….which dint work out becasuse duh it was illegal and not possible and VERY VERY stupid of me.

and wat i did was…tried to SELL MY BLOOD!!

so i went with my brest friend…breast friend..because we sometimes squeeze each other boobes…and i know it might sound weird and lesbian  but it really isnt….

and we only do it wen

1. we want to physically hurt each other.

2. wen we are teasing each other

3. and just generally.

and now we have taught it to other girls too…in the beginning they were like “WAT THE HELL WAS THAT!!!”

some

1. blushed

2. got annoyed

3. cudnt believe that we had just poked their mammary glands and made amazing faces.

4. got irritated

5. got pissed off

etc etc

but now they are well accoustomed to it…like they arent that surprised that it happened to them.

so anyways….i told her and rather she  dint   want to come in..cuz well i forgot wat her reason was…

so i took her to to the nearest hospital to our college…fortis…and she waited inside while i went ahead…and i told her to take care of my cheetos..masala balls…which is the best flaovour of cheetos and not tangy loops .

i went in and plasted a smile on my face…and went into the blood bank….and i saw this girl sitting on the front desk so i said that im here to give my blood…and she got all happpy and gave me a form to fill out…and i told her that il be expecting my money …not more than 2000 bucks today only after i give her my blood…so she made faces like she cudnt underatnd what i was talking about…and called this guy and told him that id come in to sell my blood….and he just looked at me as if id escaped from some mental hospital…and she told me that i cudnt sell my blood..and if i wnated to donate it..i was most welcome…and obviosuly i felt MEGA STUPID!

so this is what this bitch does

1. gets up smiling

2.goes inside this room

3.calls people inside

4.silence for 2 mins

5.laughter is heard

6. people come out

7.she points at me

8. paitents laugh too..the ones sitting there…stupid assholes.

9. i throw the form on the ground.

10. get out from there.

11. collect my breast friend from outside who i dont know why but is looking scared.

12. we go back to the hostel.

13. i look online for curese and spells to jinx the hospital people or hypnotize them.

14. search online for other money making schemes.

so…yeah..that was embarrissing!!!!

blah…im tired of writing now

bye.

k.

my perfect guy

we all aer waiting for that perfect person to cme along…who will unlock the passion in our hearts and make our ears ring with joyful uh..noise…and will be the reasion for our higher blood pressures because seeing them will make our hearst pump blood faster and gives us butterflies in our stomach..and weak kneed and dizy and who will make us thank god for our wonderful life and whos mere kiss or touch wil transport us straight into heaven.

and if ur lucky enough….and have done good deeds in ur past or present life…ur perfect person might just be good looking!!!!!

i know perfect doesnt really exist….its not meant to be ..because then …well…imperfections will loose their importance. i hope u can understand this piece of  expert thought…because if u dont…..then theres no point googling it.

so…although i am well aware of that my perfect guy is either
1. extinct(maybe the cave man was a perfect guy..if the ladies thought that pulling them by their hair..and breaking their heads with big stones or tools was a mark of manileness and the way he jumped around on his toes and scratched his underarms and balls area was sexy then i guess he surely is extinct….although i think the modern age man does a few things relating back to his ancestors..like the scratching part..to which i just have one word to say…yuck)
2.imaginary like luke brandon from shopaholic
3.a woman. but i cant turn lesbian because my family might deprive me of the property.

so…well….ok…we all have to face reality …..he isnt coming!

but we girls can sure have some fun with our imaginations right.?

so here are some of the incedences out of my hypothetically imaginary world…i.e my mind. and the left one functions the most. i mean left part. i dont have two heads.

1. coming back home from office.
(i wil be caling him pg=perfect guy)

i open the main gate of our mansion…with a remote control…ofcourse the watchman is there to operate it…but i like doing mu work on my own..specially the ones which involve pushing buttons and then big things sliding apart…like my tv and shoe set.
i park my mercedes next to my bmw(a gift from pg when my pet mouse died.)
i go in…all tired but slightly happy because il get to see  my shoe collection .

and the moment i open the door…i see flowers lying ahead of me…but fake ones because i dont approve of plucking flowers because they have life. but secretely pg knows that i love real flowers!!! so when i look closely…they arent fake after all!!! and i can definitely smell them!!

sigh…

and then i hear the door opening and he comes out!!!

eye colour: greenish blue
hair colour:dark curly jet black
height:6′1
body complexion: fair
nose:straight
lips:kissably full
facial hair:only a slight beard i.e. stubble
hands:very artistic and with no rings whatsoever(except our engagement ring..white gold..similar to what i wear…with a big diamond on it ofcourse)
legs:long and not that hairy
chest:wide and waxed..i dont like bird nests on chests like akshay khanna has
other features: dimple and with a very well defined jaw line. also..heart melting smile with gorgeous teeth.  and happens to be VERY VERY FUNNY!!! makes me laugh till i cry. hopelessly romantic and adventerous and loves animals and respects women and has 2 sisters and one brother and has an IQ of well the higher level and also earns like a hell lot. and….loves me more than anything else in the world…and who will not run off like my mother says she will when a lion will appear out of nowhere and has cruel intentions of eating me alive and thus pg will save me and get killed himself. or injured because he is an expert in karate and will demolish umm the lion. and save both of us. also i almost forgot has a such a sexy voice that it can melt all the four chambers of my heart.

sigh….

and he comes straight towards me …and kisses me ….light yet strong…and with minty breadth with a slight hint of some premium red wine…and takes all my bags and sits me down on our plush sofa…which happens to be purple…a real risk when i had bought it from milan…but turned out to be totally cool.

pg: how was your day sweetheart(u can see he abstains from using the overly used very common day to day word honey which almost all girls…unspecial unlike me…are called…and also doesnt use totally ganwar words like ‘janoo’ or ’sona’)

me:it was sooooo long..and tiring…pg.

pg(starting to massage my tense shoulders relaxing some of the pain..he just knew i wanted that to relax me..see his telepathic powers?): awwww…well il make sure u have a relaxed pleasant evening darling..im here..u just lay back and take it easy ok…will you have some tea or coffee?

me: yes..pg…i think that tea will be good…

pg(yells to the servants to get me a hot cup of tea with some kurkure..see? he kept in mind that i like kurkure without me even saying a word about it)

pg: come ill take u to bed…(lifts me up..like they do in movies and takes me to my fantabulous bedroom which ive decorated with my favourites:stars and moons and all things marine and to do with the mythical creatures concernig water ofcourse)

me: oh..pg…ur so sweet. this smiling

pg: you make me sweet baby.

so then he takes me…and puts me down for a nap.

no wait..this is sooooo gay!!!

well for starters im not calling him PG!!.il be referring to him as hot dude…i.e hd.(discription remains the same)

hd: hey ! how was work darling?

me: it was so cool hd! i totally crushed the dumb lawyer of the prosecution.

hd:thats brilliant man!! good work !! (gives me  a kiss..but on the cheek) want to go out and celebrate? theres this toally retro disco my friends were talking about..want to check it out?

me: totally!!!

hd:u wanna go out for a movie right? love in august ? uve been talking about it the whole week….grins his totally awesome smile…i was just kidding darling!

me:oh thank god hd!! i thought you were serious!! and slap him on his hand ….and he then turns around and picks me up and swillels me which i love….because it makes me dizzy for a while and i see 5  of him instead of just one gorgeous one.

hd: lets go…and this time he kisses me on the mouth and says i love you sweetheart..more than i love my mom.

ok so thats how my perfect guy would behave if i come back from work.

here are some another random conversations:-

me: do i look fat in this hd?

hd: what are you talking about darling…u look perfect and gorgeous!

me:thanx hd!
………………………………………………..

me:i have been shopping instead of working…im sorry i lied to you…and all those over times? ….ive been  shopping..im so sorry…

hd: what did u buy me?
…………………………………………………………………………

me:ive decided to name our dogs parvati and payal and our cat mudit saxena.

hd: ok. (doesnt laugh like my family and friends had) and thinks it is perfectly normal if i want to keep those names.
……………………………………………………………..

me:i think i might have cancer hd!!

hd:cool! now you can be a baldie and wear that awesome red hair wig uve been dying to buy!  understands that im joking and doesnt say” dont say such things honey. or are u out of your mind”
……………………………………………………………..

me:do u think shes hot hd? pointing to a very hot girl.

hd: ha! her? no way. i would never even give her a second look and describes how he only prefers girls who slightly have my kinda features.
……………………………………………………………

hd: u smell gorgeous darling! what is that? chanel?

me:no…its manly man deodrant.

hd:its sexy !
………………………………………………………

yeah…now thats my perfect prince!!!!!

i love u baby!!! whereever you are!!

k.

Toilet Training

This Is The Doctor Who Killed Michael Jackson

He is the Real Killer of Micheal Jackson, MJ was searching for his videos on You tube and he found this Video, which later gave him the Heart Attack… PS: Not for weak hearts!